Jaden G.

Corrections will mostly be in bold First off, I liked it. I think you have a great plot even though it reminded me somewhat of Mulan. At the beginning you ...

I liked this poem. It was pretty good. Here's some of my thoughts: You had a decent rhyme scheme going until the last stanza where you just randomly broke off ...

Keep you stanzas the same length. No offence, but it seemed choppy when the first stanza was five lines and the next was six with four lines in the next ...

Wow. I've never read a fanfiction like this. Sure there have been many post Last Battle Susan fanfics, but this is really amazing. I enjoyed it very much and I ...

Oh Please Update Soon! This fic was very good. But I have a question. Is this story after the seventh book or somwhere in the middle? You need to keep ...

A very good story although the end seemed like a scripted monologue when he was talking about Remus and Tonks and Fred. You kind of lost me at the end ...

Wow... This could have been more detailed and a tad longer. I am a total Remus fanatic so I will be blunt... it could have been better. I do like ...

Very good Jeeves. I always find this story entertaining and wish you would put up That Dang CHAPTER 3! There needs to be more imagery like everyone else has been ...

It was a nice story, but somewhat had a lot of holes in it. I really don't know what so I can't tell you what holes to plug up. scasha's ...

Hey this is Jaden G. I loved your poem! It was very good and the truth of it inside the everyday family is very real. But now to the editing: ...

Good job! I like how you asked all of the questions. It's not really questioning Jesus but wondering what it felt like and being in awe that he did it. ...

Hi Risa. Love the poem and idea. Most of the mistakes have been pointed out and you should fix them. Whoo Hoo! Go ratings! I agree! Reepicheep won the duel ...

A lot of it is true, but hopefully this review thingy-majig will not turn into a political debate forum. So, is this poem supossed to rhyme, cuz it doesn't. Reepicheep ...

GRAMMAR! You spell pour like this "pour" instead of this "pore" I mean come one Risa! You know better. Shame Shame Shame! I am hyper and Peepiceek has challenged Reepicheep ...

It was a good prolouge that makes you want to know what led up to this moment. Keep the story coming. Now to the critique. Comma use in the beginning ...